The Demands of Our Gifts

January 15, 2018

Our egos tend to keep us small. They try to protect us from the inevitable sting of failure, rejection, and doubt that come with exploring the world and opening to areas of it where we don’t fit, so that one day we might find where we actually belong. Along the way, we’ve managed and packaged our lives to avoid living out our true self—the gift we are meant to bring the to the world—so it doesn’t overwhelm us, so that we feel safe and secure. We keep it domesticated because, if we let it out, we fear that the people who love us just might stop loving us.


Ask yourself: if I really relinquished control and surrendered to my gift, what would it demand of me? The answers to that question are sometimes really difficult. It might mean letting go of certain beliefs and assumptions about who you are and what your life. It might mean letting go of cherished aspects of your personality, particularly ones that you prize in having other people see in you. It might even mean letting go of certain people in your life, particularly the ones that hold you back and want you to remain small because it makes them feel better about remaining small. The answers might not have to do with letting go, so much as taking bold action—moving to another city, taking a new job, speaking out in ways that terrify you. It is not important that you take action right away. Start with asking the question and see what answers come up. Keep asking the question. Eventually, the answers become so clear that there is no choice but to act.

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