Am I Enough?

November 26, 2018

 

 

 

At times in my life I have wondered, will I ever be enough?  Some times that question carried with it an adjective—will I ever be thin enough?  Will I ever be smart enough?  Other times verbs inserted themselves—will I ever have enough?  Will I ever earn enough?  Will I ever achieve enough?

 

At times I’ve thrown my hands up and said, “Enough with enough.  I’ll just be and do what I can.”  And that worked . . . it all seemed to be, well, enough.  Until the question would creep in, “Is this enough?” 

 

It’s a funny word, "enough."  On the one hand, it implies that we’re lacking.  If I’m not _____ enough or I don’t ______ enough, then there’s an insufficiency.  More is needed and would be better.  But if I’m ______ enough, then I don’t have more than necessary.  It’s almost as if “just” were always hanging out before “enough.”  I’m just _____ enough; any more ____, and that would be too much of ______.  I’m just thin enough, just smart enough, just loved enough.  Any less, though, and I’d tip right back into lack.  Any more, and well that would be asking for too much.

 

But why put limits on things like joy, love, and wonder?  Should we be just happy enough?  Why not be so overflowing with joy, love, and wonder that you’re nowhere near the line of “enough”? 

 

Alrighty, then, that’s enough for today.  Or is that just enough?  I'm no longer sure I know the difference.

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